Moody Monday

Recieved my results today for last term and meh, I was the 13.4 percentile of the whole cohort. I didn't expect myself to did so so so badly because I thought there might be a lot of people worse than me. Guess I was wrong, absolutely wrong. People in junior collage are really so hardworking. They play hard and work hard. 

I really admit that I wasn't working hard enough (not revising & not doing my hw). But deep down inside, I really don't know if it was because of the breakup when I just entered jc. Honestly speaking, I had been relying so much on him that I really felt so loss when everything were gone. You know the feeling when you just sit down there and think to yourself, "What am I doing with my life?" 

And ya ya, I cried twice in school today (again). I felt so stressed up and sad and I just wanna keep crying LOLOL. I'm scared that my mother will be disappointed. She once told me, "I know it is difficult for you to see him everyday in school, being very sad about this relationship. I know you can't concentrate in school because of him but don't give up the whole forest just for that one tree." Hahaha mothers know their children the best. And this time round, I'm really glad that she didn't mention about this breakup and still gave me a lot of support and love. 

Guess I really have to buck up, move on, work extremely hard and prove to everyone (& myself) that I WILL NOT RETAIN.