Dilemma?

Having mixed feelings right now. I really don't know what to do, what decision to make. I'm really afraid of gossips, people judging me, losing all the good friends, disappointing people, getting hurt again. I'm just paranoid like this and this suck. But honestly, who wouldn't want their relationship to have everyone's fullest support and wishings? I have actually adapted to the life I'm having now, doing things all by myself. Not sure why all these things are coming back to me now after so long but I'm feeling happy and miserable at the same time. And I really don't want to let this chance slip away just like this. 

I really don't know what do you want exactly but if you really answered me and showed me, things would be easier.